While you weep, laugh and become stunned by the events in this book, reading it will save you time and could easily save you thousand of dollars. Aside from discovering our website www.oneinsix.com this eBook should be your second most important move towards that elusive goal of parenthood. Be armed, be ready, preferably before you ship out. Don't say we didn't told you so!
For Those easily shocked, pay attention - it's a book!
Our story amongst hundreds could be told here. If you are of a weak disposition or suffer from high horse mentality do not read any further.
Based on a true story, literary license can go a long way not that we used it extensively or at all.
Those that hang on to every word and sentence written here will find themselves no time for other duties save being judgmental on what goes for the disease which is childlessness. If one prefers controversy and shocking tales then we suggest the following books be added to your 'to read' list - the Bible or the Torah or the 9/11 Commission report amongst others.
As for the literary agents rejections, Tom Cruise will only be too happy to take up Bobby's role, especially in chapter 5.
(Want something to gossip about? Try the 9/11 conspiracy (click here) or play it safe and ridicule the little people who want to become parents)
(Free eBook to those that have donated to our website!)
General Overview (scroll half-way down page for the shortened version of actual book)
This book will be about our desperate attempts to have a baby seemingly at all costs. We have been through 5 IVF failures in England, 7 failed surrogacy attempts in Mumbai, 2 failed surrogacy attempts in Gujarat and we're onto our tenth clinical surrogacy attempt. Blackmailed by two British surrogates. Robbed, extorted and conned by Indians abroad. The 'mother' of all lies given to our mum dying of cancer with a fake pregnancy report. Supernatural events, exorcism and snake-medicine peddlers. Incidents in a red-light area and to spice it up there was XXX with .... er, this part is too hot to ever place here!
Can this be truth? Or is this part of show business? Buy the book and see for yourself!
Brief Chapter Summary
The Introduction
Chapter 1. The First Few Steps
Our initial expectations and the five failed test-tube attempts in England which scuppered all our future enjoyments and trappings of a normal family life. The hocus-pocus, exorcisms, herbal medicine, reliance on 'holy' persons and confidence on religious faith. All part of a 'normal' child-free existence.
(scroll half way down the page for excerpts)Chapter 2. The Surrogacy Market
The bleak surrogacy options facing childless couples in the UK and the costs of just sitting on the shelves next to cans of baked beans at a supposedly helpful UK Surrogacy Organization. Akin to a cattle market except there wasn't any cattle. Advertising was against the law but what else were we to do to find our surrogate? So we advertised and set up a website.
(scroll half way down the page for excerpts)Chapter 3. The Blackmails
We consider ourselves fortunate that we did not proceed with the British surrogates that approached us. Smelt a rat, but blind we were to go along with it, the thought sends shivers to think what might have happened. Blackmailed for money by a British asian surrogate and side tracked by another English rose who thought twice upon finding out we were not white. Thinking back did we really stood chance of goal when the goal-post always kept moving?
(scroll half way down the page for excerpts)Chapter 4. Two Flew Over a Cuckoo's Nest
So began our search for a surrogate abroad in India through classified columns in Indian national newspapers. We did not help ourselves by narrowing our criteria to such an extent but there seemed one good candidate and so we booked our flight and packed our bags and left the storm clouds of England unknowingly in to a force 9 hurricane of a ride in India.
(scroll half way down the page for excerpts)Chapter 5. ------ with an Angel - The Unreported Surrogacy
To what lengths should anybody go in order to have their baby? This chapter was deliberately kept 'under cover' and not spoken about or hinted at even on our own website. And for a very good reason!
This will be one of the main talking point and hence selling point of the book. Come to think of it, Bobby's experience in India wasn't that bad at all! Nikki's experience on the other hand, well she's still living it and continues to remind Bobby of it and he has the bruises to show.
(scroll half way down the page for excerpts)
Chapter 6. India 2005 - Angel with a Broken Wing
This was our first 'official' surrogacy attempt. Yes, that same lady from the previous chapter features. This surrogate had her arm in a plaster cast having being broken from a riding accident perhaps an omen of sorts. Took her to a fertility clinic in Mumbai. Her father died, her family discovered her desire to be our surrogate so she pulled out. Back at our hotel the reception woman turned out to be a Reiki Healing teacher who taught us the first degree before miraculously disappearing. The return of the surrogate after a round of séance. Arriving home we best thought to visit a catholic church to give our thanks to the lord in giving us this beautiful Indian catholic surrogate. No sooner than we got back home from the church we received a phone call and a negative pregnancy test. Amen to that.
Chapter 7. India 2006 - Surrogacy Attempt #2
As it turned out our surrogate had very poor quality eggs and few in numbers but we requested the doctor to reuse her a second time as she was now becoming a friend of ours. We think.
The year did not get off to a good start as our mother was becoming seriously ill. A mix up with the cycle dates of our surrogate meant an air ticket purchased went to waste. Bobby bought a second air ticket a month later. The surrogate now had a job which meant playing games with our schedule. 8 hour wait for a taxi at Mumbai airport. A phone call from Nikki saying mother was diagnosed with cancer. I had only 3 days in India, barely enough for me to purchase white funeral attire for my family back home along with a garland to hang over a possible portrait of our late mother. We all knew what was coming. A third visit to India in May to continue what was rapidly becoming a joke. The surrogate went missing when it came time to implant, again poor quality embryos. It was all a shambles and as our mother was dying, Bobby alone in his hotel could do nothing to save this situation except to lie to his mother and family in UK that all was well and that twins are on the way... Mother died, I gave a shocking speech at the funeral. And to cap it off, our friend the surrogate rang us from her call centre workplace selling us a cell phone. She got the commission. Again you could not have made this up!
Chapter 8. The Mother of all Lies
As if 2005 wasn't awful enough for us, right from the start 2006 was heading into another nightmare. Mother's deterioration and a race for time. Could we possibly get some good news this time? Even if we had to lie? Which of course we did. As our relatives assembled to see our mother perhaps for the last time, we persuaded our friend, our surrogate to do us a favor and that was to call mother from India to say she was expecting a baby. Twins to be exact. Turned out to be the last positive thing our surrogate did for us. We also needed evidence of some sort so we begged our Indian doctor to give us a sonography scan of somebody else's twins so that we can show mother. Mum was pleased, she heard this on her hospital bed and mumbled something like "god helped out in the end". Bobby cried. Job done.
Mother did not get to see the fake scan of the fake twins, Bobby never got home in time to show it to her. She laid still on the slab, mattered not Bobby showed it even though mother's eyes were shut. I'm sure she knew all along it was a lie. Blood and vomit was all that was left of mum . The lie helped ease the grief for the rest of the family.
Bobby wrote the eulogy on the plane home and shocked the congression at the crematorium. The difficult part is living with this burden until we make amends. This time with a real pregnancy with a real surrogate. Turned out not to be anytime soon.
Chapter 9. To Hell With It
It was a dark time. Mother was dead. Took her remains to Punjab and poured it in a river. That did not go smoothly funnily enough with spillage of the smashed duty-free bottle all over the holy ground!
With no surrogate or donor we printed and distributed leaflets everywhere and knocked on doors. Rich pickings for greedy Indian con-men and ripe for extortion. Bobby's search took him to social workers, hospitals, churches, the Red Cross and the red-light areas with all it's delights and charms.
Why didn't it occur to me earlier that we can use the clinic's surrogate and the clinic's donor? Perhaps we could've just found a donor and use the clinic's surrogate which would have been easier. Bobby was so wrapped up in his own world, in his personal crusade to find a surrogate on his own. This hunt for a woman who could both be our surrogate and donate eggs was obviously going to end up fruitless.
Four months later he came back wizened, empty handed and thankfully disease free.
Chapter 10. India 2007 - Surrogacy Attempt #3
A contact in India showed us a girl who wanted to be our donor. Bobby looked at her and in blind desperation shrugged 'what the heck'. This was a mistake as on second viewing this time in daylight she was quite dark. Took her to see our doctor, I think the car broke down five times, we had to push the car many times. It was the turning of 2007 and it seemed we were in for another nightmare start. On the way home we ended up in the cabin of a truck, all seven of us! Don't ask how, it was a circus act.You could not have made this up. In the end I gave the donor some money so that we could get rid of her.
Came back home and none the wiser.
An email from the doctor spoke of a possible donor. She was 'healthy' and quite pale and educated which was a good start. Go ahead we said, crank up the engine. Bobby went in April, made some new friends at a Sikh temple, things looked promising. The donor wanted double pay which we agreed to. Implanted 6 embryos. Waited for the results. It was my wife's birthday on May 1. Sitting in the temple, I got the bad news from the clinic. I was cursed twice. My wife thought I must have been shagging some woman as I did not reply to any of her by now angry cell phone messages. Didn't have the heart to tell we weren't going to have a baby again anytime soon.
Chapter 11. India 2007 - Surrogacy Attempt #4
So let's see, our first two failures was down to poor eggs and low egg numbers, the third was good quality but average in count. Looks like progress on any other day! We used the first woman twice so why not reuse our current woman. Okay so this donor who was of the 'upper class' divorced with a daughter of her own and not lacking for money! She just came back from Hong Kong, presumably paid for with our money.
The doctor doubled the drug dosage on her meaning more cost for us.
Bobby's new friends at the Sikh temple took him on a 9 hour coach trip to a Sikh Holy place where miracles are said to happen. Well they obviously never heard of us.
Paid for prayers, paid for kitchen supplies, volunteered for charity work etc. My good deeds as it turned out was ignored again.
Greediness, betrayals and other undevout goings on inside the temple let alone outside, our faith in our own religion of Sikhism was torn. Let down, red-light
district beckoned.
Chapter 12. India 2007 - Surrogacy Attempts #5 and #6
Bobby did not leave India but extended his stay to incorporate another surrogacy attempt. Number five. He did not tell Nikki about the failure instead said it was delayed for another few weeks. The doctor emailed us the profiles of new donors. I chose one. Later on the doctor suggested another donor for us, he meant to say why not have both surrogates on the go? Number six. Meaning it would cost us extra. Gave my semen sample again, getting to be a habit this. To attempt to get two surrogates pregnant from two different donors, let me see, that's 4 different woman not counting my wife! What would be the complications if all got pregnant? Was the doctor serious? Did he really wanted to see the backs of us? Apparently so, letting us cross that bridge when/if we ever get there. Seemed the risk wasn't no where as risky as thought. I had to explain to my wife about the money I took from her bank account to pay for the second surrogate. Got home and received the dreaded cell phone message. Seems we're doomed forever as incredulously none of them got pregnant.
As a side note, my so called contact friend in India decided to not return my cell phone. I got shot of her as my guide and interpreter enabling me to save money to which she then retaliated shouting "Pray you never have a baby!" A nasty woman indeed but how true. How very true.
Chapter 13. India 2007 - Surrogacy Attempt #7
By now we were clearly on auto-pilot. If it wasn't for the fact that we are providing 50% of patients to the clinic through our website the doctors at the clinic wouldn't even touch us with a barge pole. We were clearly affecting their success rates but I'm sure they needed us just as much as we needed them. Sure we could've gone to another clinic taking their customers with us where we could've got payments for bringing in western patients. That's an issue I can take up with them at a later date. Right now I must take another donor and surrogate off their books and basically ruin their festive season along with ours. How's that for a Diwali and Christmas?
Bobby booked his flight, gosh his passport must be hidden under stamps and stickers! Implanted 9 embryos the most we ever had. My old contact now a spiteful viper must be happy to know that I have been failing. On my last trip I told my hotel worker friend that if ever she comes asking for me and she has no doubt regretting things, that to say to her "You have missed the boat!" Implying that Bobby's surrogate is expecting and she will not benefit in any payouts and gifts.
Yet another lie which I have to make good. This time it was Christmas with my wife. And was it a good Christmas? Er, yes and no!
Chapter 14. India & UK 2008
Our current events which can be read http://1in640715.yuku.com/topic/470
I will remove the above Introduction post before I place chapter 1 on
this board. And same with the removal of chapter 1 when chapter 2 is ready and so on.
What's so funny?
